Final Consideration

Trust is fragile,

When you see a friend who is in great pain the first response is to help.



But after a time when they have done nothing to help them self

........When all there efforts seem to be in prolonging there own suffering

................ When all there efforts seem to be in making those around them tools of there suffering

.......................one begins to question and look and ask many unpleasant questions that were long avoided.



It hurts greatly when someone goes from being a good friend,

........To someone who you have to doubt there every word

...............When you ask them time and time again who they are

...................and they respond with emotional assault to you and search for faults to blame you with

.........................When they spit in your face when you first try to see past there lies with forgiveness

................................when they cast more lies and curse you for having to do it





Then it becomes doing what you must to preserve self

......We found our pain and looked it in the eyes

..........We got to know the pain as a person in its own right

..............We took our time to suffer in the measure that was deserved

......................And that was yesterday........





today it is a nice day, i am a little sick but otherwise quite ok. I am going to wake my brother soon and we will go for coffee, and I might spend the evening at my sisters or doing some overdue work for my hobbies.

But I said what i needed to say

Gave it the time it needed in my heart

Let it all come to light so i was no stranger to what i felt

and now i move on.

reflections

Are people defined in the path they follow?
Are people defined in how they follow there path?
Are we judged by the words we say when we describe our path?
Or should we be judged in how we show others how we follow our path?

Quite often people will see the world though a filtered lens of there experience.
But have any of us considered the ramification of said bias?
The naturally trust worthy people tend to consider most people trustworthy,
until experience teaches them otherwise.
The naturally scoundrel like people, tend to view others in said light,
Though it may make for a safe life, it makes barriers with in your self to reach others.
To those who have committed great wrongs, is it hard to credit others with virtue?
To those of virtue, do they see falsely virtue in others? or what the other could of been?

If these words resonate with your own thoughts,
Then this is my gift to you.
Take these words and expand on them if you wish, And express your self.
If these words offend your emotions,
Then this is my gift to you.
If they offend you, then they were already in resonance with you. And I can offer no comfort for the strife between you and your soul.

margin

On a knifes edge I run today,
with the devils on my tail.
No Left, No Right can I miss
No time for breath
No time to wait,
...but not yet the time for haste.

Every movement is to be measured
Every step is to be placed.
For if this is to be well played
I shall hav'ta lead the perfect hunter
Posing as his bait.

This web to be woven
I cast not the strand
The game to be played
Is to foul the spider in there web.

Tone and Words

It is not always the words that are said, But sometimes the Tone of them
Words of love shouted in anger...what is the message
Words of hate said in anguish...
Words of compassion said in an icy tone
words of wisdom, recited in ignorance....

on makeing amends and showing gratatude

Quite often people will make an apology for an act that was done for a plethora of reasons, Quite often very understandable reasons. But how often are apologies given only to sooth our own peace of mind. or only for social requirements?

And what are the limits on what one would do for an apology, only words? Repairing the injury that was done?

And do not forget showing gratitude as well

How much are we willing to invest in gratitude and apologies? For some it is words deep only for others they may repay action for action, Some choose indifference in both sides of the interaction.

morals and ignorance

To let an aversion you have to something force you into denying its very presence is to choose ignorance.
To choose blissful ignorance when the reality of life is to hard to face is to choose to make your life's decisions based on denial
To live your life based on denial is to make a moral life imposable.

Open eyes is a high price to demand of people, but it is the debt we owe one another

of community

we are a community of one on this planet, something not to forget.

To say community often brings up in mind our obligation to our peers and children, but to define community

community can be viewed both as who we are to each other and who we are to the outsider.

Community can be viewed both as who we are to each-other and who we are to the outsider.

In both cases there are obligations.

For those who serve the community be it wage slave or priest.
be it service member or first responder
quite often our profession is what defines us in regards to the community
But parent is also serving the community as is any care giver that tends those family ,friends and those in need
a student serves the community by bettering them self, provided they return the investment in service in some form for the community

But now let us look at smaller and closer to the micro

Of the spiritual and social orders
In this I will view them together, quite often people bond over a common tie, be it of the spirit
Christian, Pagan, faith by blood or by culture,
or be it by common lifestyle, biker, bdsm, or outlaw.
In this they will help each other...but few if any will help an outsider and have no expectations of reward. Of this I have seen bikers give and protect the honor of our fallen ...Tho the spiritual tends to push there cultural views on others as the price for there compassion.
In that they commit an act of kindness for Arguably self serveing reasons

But of the debt to the outsider.....

sword, pen or the salve

the nature of the world with in the reach of my arm is part my responsibility
though my actions may be as much as an ore in the water, they are my actions to make
But on this day with in the reach of my arms
but on this day with my eyes that see
I choose to salvage the hate filled lifes of another
to bring some growth to the world for the venon they spew
i may not be able to change there world view
this limitation i admit
but i may exploit the actions they have made
I may use there wrong liveing as a lesson to another
to say
this is why we live with tolerance
this is why we live with empathy
this is why we live with compassion
you do not have to love the person next to you
you do not have to agree with the people next to you
but all our lives will be better if we can respect those who think they are as right as we know we are

a day to be proud of, to teach your knowledge and wisdom to your student,
to sit side by side with your student and express what you both see in harmony with each other...
and to be wise enough to smile when your students vision of the world is in convergence with what you see,
and they have a different world view of the event

of gifts and love

a gift...is in small way same as makeing love, it is were two people become one in a moment in time

I choose to learn from my past becouse i can. recently i had a meeting

with a assocate of mine who i had wronged in the past, and another

person who i knew who was reinventing his past. And it occored to me,

although i tend to keep an unbiased event joranal i too have been known

to keep a biased view on events past. But the talk with the one i had

wronged...at the time i felt i had grounds to be antonistic to him, and

to most people they would of siad i did. But in our "modern culture" we

have lost one of the two means of dealing with problems deciivly. so

today to deal with a problem deciivily i can no longer pound the other

person into submission. I must rise above it.
But in my talks with him, i apoligised for esclateing the situiation

and he told me not to worry about it, he held no anomonisty about it.

But...it is a moment i lived, and a moment i lived as less then i

should of. so the only way to bring honor and right liveing to that

moment now is to learn from it.
i will say this is a very tireing path,
i have no savior who will forgive me of my sins, so that i have but to

bend knee's in submission to live right
i have no illusison that this live has no meaning. and i know better

then many, and not as near as most that joy can be wraped in suffering
i choose to learn from my mistakes becouse i can, i choose to live the

life i feel i should.
i have alwase held the belief that i would consider converting to a

religion if i saw its people as a whole liveing a life as it should be

lived. i understand all will make mistakes, and mistakes are needed to

grow, we are creatures of suffering , becouse we are creatures of

survivle. if no-one is there to poke us, we will not run unless we

choose to do so our selfs... and the gap between the two is far.
i try to hold hope for those who have a savior who asks only for

submission. that they may learn to live each day as an example
i hold compassion for those who live this life, while trying to escape

it at all times.
i hold empthy for those who think we have more lives then this, that we

live at this time
and i hold pity for those who try to live in a way that they hope will

be an example to those who they meet.